Pretending

“Fill me!”
I’m tired of walking blind through a world filled with fear
I fall to my belly, knees abandoned
All the way home to the earthen sky
I rip off my skirt and fill my yoni with dirt
“Consummate my love. I beg you!”
And you laugh at my blindness and say
“I cannot fill what is not empty”
I take out the dirt, “I’m ready”
And you laugh at my blindness and say
“Dirt is more empty than your mind.”
I do not know what to do so I will not move until you do as I ask. I will die right here! I cannot breathe another breath separate from your embrace.
And you laugh at my blindness and say
“There’s no separation in emptiness. The glass body house filled with life and death constantly knocking on each others door selling cake”
I don’t knock on doors with cake! I cannot even move for each way seems another line tangling me in a web of dualistic chaos! All I desire is freedom”
And you laugh you love when I play separate
I open the door of death
And you laugh at my blindness
And your laughing fills me with sight
Every piece of my being whole with holy ecstasy
Now I see
Love is the empty presence of eternity
Everything else shapes upon shapes of shadows playing with themselves
Then I open the door of life
And your laughing the shrilled brutality of being torn into infinity
Blinded again
Lost in forgetting
Love is not everything! Burn these poetry books! I refuse to believe that love is war and love is circumcision and love is chemicals and love is monsanto.
Do we need such harsh polarity?
Is this the remedy for having a body?
And you laugh out a lightning bolt that splits open my head and pours my mental dualism in the ocean
Freed from the doors of life and death my one heart explodes into gnosis
And for a moment of eternity I see beyond the age of my two eyes
Silenced and screaming
Until I’m pulled back from the ocean into my raindrop
“You’re not done pretending”
And I laugh at our blindness
Photography: Lisa Seed

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